😵 DRUGS - Man tries entering court carrying 65 grams of cocaine

🙏 SPIRITUALITY - Torontonian spends $80k on phony exorcism

📽️ ENTERTAINMENT - Prime releases doc on downfall of ‘Winnipeg’s sexiest man’

Good morning. Say it back.

It’s springtime, but today’s issue starts with snow. ❄️ In our headline story, police caught an Orillia man walking into court with a suspicious baggie of white powder poking out of his pocket…

In other news, a Toronto man paid a psychic $80,000 to purge his demons. He’s pretty sure it didn’t work.

Finally, Prime has released a documentary detailing the rise and fall of Winnipeg’s former “sexiest man.”

Enjoy.

-Peter

Today’s read is 3 ½ minutes long. ⏰ 

DRUGS

NO COKE IN COURT

An Orillia man couldn’t survive a day in court without a bump.

Joseph Crandall, 43, tried to look as unsuspicious as possible as he walked through the front door of the Orillia courthouse on Thursday, May 1, at 1 PM.

He remained inconspicuous until he set off the metal detector by the door, which drew the attention of two OPP officers.

The cops noticed something sticking out of Crandall’s pocket—a clear plastic bag stuffed with “a large amount of a pressed white substance.”

They asked Crandall to remove it from his pocket. He refused. They persisted, but Crandall was adamant.

So they detained and searched him. In his pockets, they found 65 grams of cocaine and $3,500 in cash.

They charged Crandall with possession of a Schedule 1 substance for the purpose of trafficking, as well as resisting a peace officer.

But let’s not jump to conclusions: Crandall is still an innocent man.

These allegations haven’t yet been proven in court. And if there’s one thing I know about Crandall, it’s that he never backs down from a good ol’ fashioned court battle.

_{(Source: OrilliaMatters)}

SPIRITUALITY

$80K TO PURGE THE DEMONS

A Toronto man paid a psychic $80,000 to purge his demons.

Now he wants his money back.

The man, who is keeping his identity private out of sheer embarrassment, approached the psychic after suffering through years of absurdly bad luck.

The psychic diagnosed his problem—demonic oppression—and offered his services.

“The psychic told me whatever demon was in me or my family would be removed,” said the man.

He told the man that, if he paid, the demons would flee and he would win a huge jackpot.

So he paid the psychic $80,000.

The psychic prayed over the man and told him, “You’re a lucky man. You can win the lottery.”

The man bought lotto tickets, which fell flat. That’s when he realized he’d been scammed.

“I’m an idiot,” he said. “I’m sorry. I feel like an idiot. Total idiot. I let this thing happen to me.”

Can somebody tell this guy that the Catholic Church has been performing free exorcisms for the past 2,000 years?

_{(Source: CP24)}

ENTERTAINMENT

WINNIPEG’S FINEST

If you’re looking for 82 minutes of solid entertainment this holiday weekend, Prime Video can help.

They just released a documentary detailing the tragic downfall of Winnipeg’s “sexiest man” from 30 years ago.

Steve Vogelsang charmed the city as a sportscaster for CKY, which later became CTV Winnipeg. His popularity peaked when a local magazine hailed him as the “Sexiest Man in Winnipeg.”

Later, he served as news director at CTV Winnipeg and taught journalism at Red River College from 2002 to 2011. He also briefly worked as a vice-president for True North Sports and Entertainment, which owns the Winnipeg Jets.

And then the Lord tested Vogelsang.

He lost his job and sank into debt. His marriage fell apart. A doctor diagnosed him with depression, but prescribed the wrong medication.

In 2017, Vogelsang snapped. He robbed six banks across Alberta and Saskatchewan in under four months—and he did it in style.

In Regina, he slunk into a bank with a fake bomb strapped to his chest and slid a note to the teller. On the note was a plea for $50,000 and a message, saying, “They’ve got my grandson.”

The law caught up to Vogelsang in October 2017. He was arrested and sentenced to 6 ½ years in prison. He was released on parole in 2022.

Now, he’s the star of a documentary produced by MGM.

Next up, he’ll teach a Masterclass called “How to Rebrand Yourself in Under Six Months.”

_{(Source: CTV News)}

Enjoy your long weekend. 🍻 

-Peter