📱 TECH - Pranksters wreak havoc with viral TikTok challenge

😵 DRUGS - Teenage fentanyl dealers crash into moose near Parry Sound

🥃 BOOZE - Windsor truck raiders steal 1,000 cases of Crown Royal 

It’s Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday.

Today’s issue may tempt you to despair. The kids appear to be demons who will do anything for internet fame.

(They also appear to be trafficking fentanyl—more on that in story #2.)

But I implore you: do not despair of our youth (yet).

They are just one military draft away from being straightened out.

-Peter

Today’s read is 2 minutes long. ⏰ 

TECH

GENERATION OF VIPERS

TikTokers are wreaking havoc across Ontario with a new “Apple Pay prank” challenge. 

The trend gained momentum in May when a few teenagers went viral for pretending to steal money from strangers.  

The pranksters tapped their smartphones against strangers’ smartphones while playing a recording of the familiar Apple Pay “ka-ching” sound. 

The teens filmed the interactions, hoping to elicit strong reactions from the strangers that would make for good social media content. 

They got just that. 

Late last month, a Toronto prankster performed the stunt on a man sitting in the Eaton Centre. 

It went predictably south. 👇

CONTENT WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE 🤬 

Earlier in May, another TikToker performed the same prank on a woman in the Kitchener Walmart. 

He was immediately “detained” by an international student undercover Walmart security guard. 

You can watch the full video here (be advised, there’s some cussing in it).

If you think Gen Z is bad, just wait until Gen Alpha comes of age.

They are a wicked and adulterous generation—a generation of vipers.

DRUGS

MOOSE BUSTS FENTANYL DEALERS

The local moose population is stepping in to help law enforcement curb the rise of fentanyl trafficking.

Literally.

On a Saturday night two weeks ago, a moose near Parry Sound heard a vehicle travelling down Highway 69 with trap music blaring from its speakers.

The moose also smelled a strong cannabis-like odour emanating from the car’s open windows. 🚬 

So the animal stepped out from among the trees and waited in the middle of the dark highway.

Moments later, a sporty Honda Civic whipped around the corner and collided with the moose, which limped back into the trees.

The car was totalled, but its two 16-year-old passengers were uninjured.

A passerby saw the wreckage and called 9-11. Minutes later, police from the nearby Anishinabek rez showed up, along with some OPP officers and paramedics.

The cops immediately smelled the “freshly burnt” pot and searched the car.

They found 250 grams of suspected fentanyl and 33 grams of cannabis.

One of the teenagers also concealed a handgun with an extended magazine in the waistband of his pants. The gun had no manual safety, nor any other mechanism to prevent it from accidentally firing.

Police also found 16 bullets in the car.

As you can imagine, the boys received some pretty hefty charges. They will soon be tried in court.

Authorities have called upon the moose to testify as a witness, but they are having some trouble locating him.

Police would also like to remind the public that vigilante justice—though glorious—remains illegal.

_{(Source: CTV News)}

BOOZE

WHO STOLE THE CROWN?

Half a million dollars’ worth of Crown Royal whisky has been stolen.

What’s worse, the thieves are still at large.

On May 17, six men broke into a fenced-in facility near Windsor and found a driverless transport truck parked inside.

They broke into the truck and found that it contained 1,000 cases of Crown Royal.

Elated, they rented a U-Haul and loaded it up with the precious cargo.

The savvy criminals then drove the empty transport truck to a quiet country road nearby, where they abandoned it.

The thieves then hopped on the 401 in their loaded U-Haul truck and drove toward London.

The following day, police found the empty transport truck and obtained surveillance footage from the facility that shows a man directing a U-Haul truck as it backs up toward the transport truck.

“In my time here, I can't say that I have recalled seeing anything like this before,” said a Windsor police officer.

Police also reached out to U-Haul for assistance in catching the thieves, but were shocked to learn the company employs a grand total of 2 customer-service representatives, both of whom were “busy helping other customers.”

Have a great weekend.

-Peter